Are you shy? Spiritual tips to make new friends.

Chat with Ask CristinaAuthor: Ask Cristina

One of the hardest challenges when moving to a new place or job is making new friends or acquaintances. It can be particularly difficult if you are shy or unsure of yourself. Shyness can keep you from living life to the fullest, yet there is beauty in shy people. A shy person has a great capacity for listening and sometimes listening to others is the best way to make new connections. As a listener you build loyalty and lifelong friendships. You may be quiet or shy, you think carefully before you speak thus giving people the right advice, direction or inspiration.

The first thing to do when you are trying to make friends is to take an inventory of yourself. We are all unique people, with gifts and wit, and intelligence. Look at what your gifts are, what you are good at, what you love about your life, and the world around you. See yourself for who you really are, a spiritual being in human form. When you start to see your highest self, you start to build the confidence you need to attract those relationships and friendship you seek.

Put some love out there. What I mean by that is get involved in things that are near and dear to your heart, volunteer an hour a week of your time to show the world your real love. Our purpose in life is to be of service to others that can bring great joy and happiness, when we bring a smile to someone else. This is usually the easiest way to make new friends and long lasting ones.

If you are shy, you probably try to avoid people, so you have to make the switch. Get around people as much as you can. If you are at a cafeteria or break room, go sit with a couple of people, don’t sit alone. Or join an organization or club with people who have similar interests as yourself. Make eye contact with people as much as you can. Shyness has a tendency to make us to look down or somewhere else, instead of up, always look up. Besides people can see the light of your eyes much easier when you look right at them.

Always remember to introduce yourself. People may not remember your name, but you can change that by remembering theirs. In Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to win Friends and Influence People” he says the best way to make a friend is to remember their name. There is a little trick to this. You simply repeat their name three times in the conversation, OR you repeat their name, three times in your head. Or remember by association. Concentrate on the color of their clothes so when you see the person again, you can remember that “ blue was Mary”. Be creative and come up with your own tricks to remember names. You’ll be glad you did, learning someone’s name ends up making YOU unforgettable.


Don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation. A little small talk never hurt anyone, which is why it’s called “small talk.” The person you are speaking to is exactly like you in every way, a flame of light, and we are all connected to the same source, remember that first and foremost and conversation should get easier. Start with the old standard and talk about the weather or compliment people. You can mention their car, or shoes, or what they are wearing, what do they give their mom’s for their birthday.

When it comes to making new friends it’s all about spiritual connections. Love yourself, see how beautiful you are and what you give to life and friends will come easily. Your soul is connecting to someone else’s soul. The souls look exactly alike there is no difference so nothing to fear. When you see they are exactly like you, you’ll learn to love them just as you love yourself. At the end of the day, LOVE is what attracts people and new friends to you.

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