Moving on Without Excuses
Author: Mystic Enlightenment
~ “I want help with my relationship, but…” ~
I can’t count how many times I have heard this. The problem is, some people don’t really want help with their relationship. Instead, they want to make excuses to stay in a bad relationship and they want us to validate it for them. Family, friends, and clients frequently find themselves wondering why they are so unhappy in their relationship, what they can do to make it better, and if it will get better. When we try to give them advice, we often hear the BUT… instantly sealing themselves off to much-needed help.
Some people would rather stay in a bad relationship than move on or out. They use many excuses like:
- I’m not happy but I’m comfortable
- I don’t want to be alone
- I love him
- He hasn’t done anything wrong
- We have a great sex life
- We are already engaged
- We have children
- We are already living together
- He’s good enough for me
- I can change him
- I don’t like conflict
- I can’t afford to live on my own
- and I will lose all my (our) friends.
Case in point: a young woman with two children was in an abusive relationship. Her husband had convinced her she could not make it on her own, and she believed him. After much discussion, the excuses stopped. She realized she was the breadwinner in the family and he was one more mouth to feed. This made her decision to leave so much easier.
In another case, a young woman was engaged to marry a young man that her family did not approve of. She was going to prove them wrong about him. She could change him; she would marry him and her family would just have to accept it. After several discussions over a six month period, she found out on her own that he was using her, took all her money, cheated on her, and told her it was all her fault. Just weeks before the wedding there were no excuses left, the decision was made for her. In her fragile state she called off the wedding and moved on.
Deep down they know things are not right but continually make one excuse after another to stay in a relationship that they are unhappy with. They are in a relationship they feel they can’t get out of. It is like being on the Titanic with no lifeboat; how long can they tread water in frigid ocean?
Regardless of the circumstances, if you know your relationship isn’t heading anywhere, you owe it to yourself and to the other person to end it and move on. It comes down to you and your ability to make the decision. Yes, it is going to be scary, yes you will be alone (for a while), but you can do it and you will be stronger for it. A breakup is not an ending, it is a new beginning. Don’t settle for less than what you know you deserve in a relationship. The one thing holding you back from an exciting new relationship, is your old one, so let it go.
Want more great love & relationship advice? Chat with a psychic advisor Mystic Enlightenment now!