Three Surprising Things That Hinder Happiness!
Author: Compassionate Kate
We all want to find and secure our “Happy Place,” but for most, that “Happy Place”
comes and goes. True is often misperceived as a temporary state of being, such as when one completes a task, receives a well-deserved reward, wins a competition, achieves a goal, falls in love, etc. However, what is mind-boggling, for many, is how others are able to experience happiness even in the midst of uncertainty, especially without receiving, or worse, lacking or losing any of the aforementioned above.
This is what often leads people to wonder; “How can those people be happy in those
circumstances? What do they know that I don’t?” Some people search further for the
answer, but most don’t find it. So, they ask themselves and/or others; “Is there more to
this than meets the eye?”. Ultimately, most people are left wondering; “Is it even possible to find and secure a permanent “Happy Place” despite one’s circumstances in life?”
In today’s society, there are numerous motivational speakers and seminars all over
the world, as well as countless books and articles describing how to find happiness.
However, it’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack for one to learn and fully
understand how to secure true happiness on a consistent basis.
Lest there be any misunderstanding, the point here is not to call into question the
credibility of others, as well as the importance of motivating and encouraging others; for
the need to love, respect, and help others plays an important role in how we secure our
own true happiness. Here’s why.
1. Universal Laws. Laws should be “good” for “the greater good of all,” right? Although
this is the case with most governing laws, universal laws are neither good and/or bad.
They are simply universal laws. If one does not know about a universal law, or
understand how to work, live, and play within our universal laws, then that would likely
be one of the aspects that hinder one’s happiness.
Many know about the universal “Law of Attraction,” but most do not truly understand it properly, and that hinders one’s happiness. For simplicity, the universal “Law of Attraction” is when positive attracts positive / negative attracts negative. However,
there is much more to this universal law that one needs to understand, as well as conscientiously apply in one’s daily life to secure true happiness.
2. Love and Relationships. Falling in love is an exhilarating experience. For many,
it is so exhilarating that “falling in love” becomes an addiction. Addictions arise from
natural or chemical agents that give us desired states of being for a temporary length of
time. When one is “falling in love” the desired state of being comes from the euphoric
feeling one receives from the temporary release of the natural hormone oxytocin into the body. Oxytocin, also known as the human superglue, is intended to be a bonding agent for those in love relationships.
However, misuse of this bonding agent may cause one to only experience a temporary feeling of euphoria when initially “falling in love” with a potential partner. Therefore, those who have the unhealthy addiction to oxytocin fall in and out of love with multiple partners over and over again, resulting in their happiness being a temporary state of being. Those who “fall in and out of love” with the same person over and over again, however, experience true happiness.
The healthiest relationships are when two emotionally healthy individuals choose
to come together as an interdependent couple. And, fortunately, due to the innate
intelligence of the human body, it is possible for those who may have misused the
natural hormone of oxytocin, even for long periods of time, to experience a healthy love
relationship. Healthy love relationships form and develop only when the natural bonding
agent of oxytocin is independently released by both partners in an interdependent
3. Rewards and Recognition. Make no mistake about it. From generation to generation, we have been consistently reinforcing the misperceived need to implement and maintain reward and recognition programs in our homes, our communities, and workplace environments. For quite some time, this has been an effective strategy where multiple parties meet short-term goals. However, most do not realize the impact this strategy has on achieving long-term goals, including the ability for one to secure true happiness.
Unfortunately, we now have multiple generations comprised of people who are “reward
junkies” and they themselves can’t even explain why. Sadly, many people have lost
self-motivating factors to be innovative, creative beings. People are less likely to take
risks – a prerequisite for creativity – once they begin thinking about and focusing on how to keep receiving positive feedback from others, especially rewards and recognition.The more people receive rewards and recognition from us, the more people will depend on our evaluations, our judgments about what’s worthy of one’s time, talent or resources. People need to learn how to develop their own judgments about their own situations to fully enjoy their achievements.
True happiness occurs when we are able to smile at ourselves without the need for a reward, recognition, or approval from others. So, rather than depend on others to measure your worth in terms of what makes them toss out more and more tangible or intangible rewards, simply do what makes you smile often. Others will notice you’re smiling more. They will wonder and want to know how they, too, can smile more often.
When you smile often and surround yourself with people who smile often too, then you
have found and secured your true “Happy Place!”
Find more keys to happiness – chat with a TLC Kate on Kasamba now!